Darkest Ecstasy

I tremble and shiver
I sputter and stutter
I cringe and hunger
All alone in this dark, damp corner

I was warned to keep away
From this damned road to agony
But I was too arrogant
Too proud
Look where I am now

When it was right
Oh damn it was right
An ecstasy unlike any other
From which I would never want to recover

But my vessel has gone dry
And I see the world as it really is
More clearly if at all possible

A broken syringe to the side
Blood dripping down my arm
My mansion in the background
Ruined

I know what it is doing to me
I know of the pain that follows

But the devil keeps me on the floor
Whispering at me to keep having more
That this is an addiction worth dying for


-Izzat R.

Say Day

There are loads I’d like to ask

And much more I’d like to say

Like what I think of the weather

Or maybe a simple “How's your day?”

But I guess it’s unimportant

What I want to ask or say

As long as you are happy

It would probably make my day

So maybe it would hurt a little

If a time you were to say

“I have never been as happy”

And I wasn’t in that day

But it doesn’t really matter

What others think and say

All I want is to see you smile

Your smile that lights up the day

Sure I may never be the reason

There’s nothing I can do or say

But to see you happy once again

I truly wish to see that day

-Izzat R.

Maybe

It is never an easy thing to do
To dread each coming day
Being forced to put on that filthy mask
To show the world everything is okay

I walk through the sea of people
Pretending to be unperturbed
By the tears that flood my floors
By the nightmares that haunt my slumber
By blood that paint my walls

Why don't I let the universe know
Why can't I rid myself of this mask
Maybe I'm a coward
Maybe I'm weak
Why can't anyone see?

Maybe
I'm waiting for someone to take it off for me


-Izzat R.

Flutter

Such beauty it was

As I saw it through the glass

It was amazing, divine

And best of all

It was mine

I was a happy child

Happy as I could be

As I cradled the jar around

So that everyone could see

But a day came when I saw

That it wasn’t as happy as me

It looked lonely and distraught

Maybe it wanted to be free

It was really a big conundrum

For one as young as I

There was none that made me smile

None like my precious butterfly

But in all my naivety

It dawned upon myself

The meaning of being happy

Is not only about yourself

With hesitation I decided

I opened the jar and set it free

Watched it flutter far away

Flutter away from me

Though my heart ached and burned

I still smiled with glee

For if it was really truly happy

Maybe one day

It will return to me

-Izzat R.

Not Yet

I love the way

Her smile keeps them at bay;

The darkest rooms

The gloomiest days

The endless nights

She never ceases to amaze

I love the way

She knows just what to say;

When I’m lonely

When I frown

When the world

Seems upside down

I love the way

She turns night to day;

With her laughter

With her smarts

With her words

They captivate my heart

I love the way

She makes me want to stay;

Treat her right

Treat her well

Treat her like my Queen

Oh, can’t you tell?

She makes my heart flutter

She makes me swoon

But be patient, dear self

I’m sure you’ll meet her soon

-Izzat R.

Across The Oceans

The clock ticks slower and slower
Yet my mind is a raging storm
Whilst I tread amongst a sea of bodies
Of unknown names and unknown forms

The morrow never comes too quickly
Lest it contorts the greater cycle
But my soul only yearns for the day
When I can grasp you in my arms once more

The months can't pass any faster
My heart can bleed no less
Till the day I get to share your laughter
And hold my baby when she's a mess

These words may be hollow
These rhymes may be weak
The song of a voiceless soul across the oceans
Do heed, as unworthy as it is to speak:

I love you more than words can say
I miss you every single day
I pray for you wherever you are
I think of you; near or far
I dream of you throughout the night
With hopes that while I'm gone, I'll still be your shining light


-Izzat R.

Of Broken Yesterdays

What happened to all your promises
The ones we padlocked on a bridge
"Until the sun burns out", you said
Meaningless spittle you flung off a ridge

If only I realised then
The flowers were never once bright
The day you lured me into your garden
The thorns were hidden just out of sight

Of broken vows; Of broken yesterdays
A story of hate where dead roses lay
I'll let you cut me to a bloody, pathetic mess
At the very least, it will definitely hurt less


-Izzat R.

Through Grimy Veils

Your song echoes in my head
Though the radio has long been broken
Resonating wonders through my soul
Cracking my ribs, ripping my heart.

Your shadow dances beyond my vision
Untiring, unyielding
With not the slightest notice of my presence

Your soul; oh your soul
Burns brightly in my heart
But since then till tomorrow, you shall always be sealed
Within my sorrow, through grimy veils


Izzat R.

Sweetest Pain

If only you knew how I felt
In those moments I shared with you
You made me feel the butterflies
Those butterflies I once thought dead

If only you knew how your smile
Made the darkest nights shine
Made the starless skies sparkle

If only you knew how your love
Kept my autumn night dreams sweet
Kept my waking hours bright
Kept me on my arduous path
With your guiding light

But lest we forget
The sun don't always shine
The birds don't always sing
Two hearts don't always ring

The storm-clouds may be dark
The droplets pouring hard
But I'll keep you in my arms
Keep you dry throughout the rain

Cause darling
You'll always be my sweetest pain


-Izzat R.

Butterfly Dreams

I need only close my eyes and I dream of you,
Thinking maybe you're dreaming of me too,
If the demons dare bother you tonight,
Dream of me, and I'll be your hero - your knight.


-Izzat R.

Once

Once
I wished that I could skate
On the gossamer threads of time
Back to defy my fate

Once
I plucked from the gardens of my heart
But was pricked with thorns of regret
When my blooms of love withered to hate

Once
I stared life straight into its eyes
With confidence brimming
But struck out again
And again

Once
I believed I held a pearl
Only to be drowned
By the ocean 
Of lies and pain

But now
I met that one person
Who became more than just a friend
Who taught me
That it is all worth it in the end


-Izzat R.

Sonnet Of The Longing Soul

My bones will never cease their aching
The further I traverse from home
A better man, this journey is to be making
As painful as it is to roam.

My veins grow hungry like drying rivers
Yearning for love across the oceans
Send me some, albeit just slivers
And quench the thirst of my emotions.

My nerves have yet to be at peace
Until which morrow, I know not when
But till my heart decides to cease
My love for you will never end.

Fret not, my parents, my brother, my lover
I'll be home soon.. Then I'll recover..


-Izzat R.